To Die Will Be an Awfully Big Adventure
by No Sacrifice No Victory
Summary: A heart-jerking story about Peter, an ordinary boy who doesn't want to grow up, and Wendy, a girl who feels alone in the world. "'Grow up,' she said. When she wasn't looking, I buried my face in my hands. I didn't want to grow up." T plus towards end.
1. Prologue

**Note:This is my first fanfic story. I hope you like it. It is my modern-day fantasy-free interpretation of Peter Pan about an average teen suffering from the fear of growing up.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own some characters and phrases**

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**To Die Would be an Awfully Big Adventure**

**Prologue**

Health class: my worst nightmare. My teacher was progressing to hand out diagrams of the male and female reproductive organs. When she got to me, I tried to avoid looking at the gruesome pictures.

"You're going to have to look at them eventually, Peter," Wendy said, giving me a smirk.

"But I don't want to," I whined as the teacher began the lecture.

"Sex education is important. We don't want you to have unprotected sex and pay for it in some way that could hurt you for the rest of your life," the teacher explained. "Did you know the time when most teens like yourselves have unprotected sex is after the prom and the Snow Ball?"

Argh. The Snow Ball was the worst pun I had ever heard. Couldn't they give our holiday dance a better name? I mean, really, it's stupid.

It was a few minutes before I whispered to Wendy, "Why do we have to learn about every little gland in our body? Why couldn't things just … well … be?"

"Are you listening?" she asked.

"No, I mean, they can just say 'don't have sex,' but why do they have to teach us the –" I shuddered " – the parts."

"'Cause someone asked where babies come from and someone else decided to find the answer," Wendy replied.

I thought for a few minutes. "Well, what if people never grew up? There would never need to be any new kids, and we wouldn't have to learn about this stuff."

"Yes, and if people could fly there would be no dependency on foreign oil," Wendy replied frankly, shaking her head.

I didn't understand how other people could be so comfortable with this stuff. Whenever someone mentions the word puberty I flush with embarrassment. As you can imagine, health class was much, much worse.

I started to pay more attention to the teacher then decided it was a mistake. Finally she said, "Okay, now I want you to work with partners to label the parts of the reproductive systems on the diagrams I passed out."

"Now you have to look at it, Peter," said Wendy, with a reassuring but joking smile on her face.

With I deep breath I looked down. All it seemed to be was a bunch of squiggles and lines. I decided to pretend it was so. I pointed to a little circle attached to a bigger lump by a little line. "What's that?" I asked Wendy, savoring the moment to look up at her beautiful baby blue eyes and away from the icky picture of the organs somewhere inside her.

She only took a moment away from her work to look up and say, "It's an ovary."

I shuddered, partially because I had to look down again and partially because Wendy could answer so calmly.

A girl behind me noticed and, crinkling her nose, she said, "Grow up."

I turned back facing front and buried my face in my hands.

I don't want to grow up.

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**Book Reference: _This section is where I will tell you what part of the book this came from, and which characters are which and so forth. All my book references will be from the 1971_ Brockhampton Press Ltd._ edition._ In this preface, I just talk about the background of what/who Peter is, much like the first chapter "Peter Breaks Through." In the book, it talks about a place in children's minds called "neverlands" where they play. On pg. 23 Mrs. Darling has a dream that Peter has broken the "film" that separates real life from the neverlands, and that her children are looking in on him. The reason I am telling you this is because I can't parallel this in my story, and it is important to knowing where peter came from, and written confusingly in the book.**


	2. Sweet Canary

**Note: The poem in this chapter, A Part of Me, is my most popular poem on fictionpress. I hope you like both it and my story. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the character names and several phrases.**

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**To Die Would Be an Awfully Big Adventure**

**Chapter One**

I sat next to Wendy during study hall, watching her scribble down words, erase them vigorously, and then rewrite them even better. Sometimes I couldn't believe it. I mean, those poems are amazing.

There was something about them that spoke to me. I don't really know what it was; I could never really find something different from her poems to any other poem I have read. Hers are just … better.

Tapping her pencil on her paper and twisting her mouth to the side, Wendy read her story over one more time before handing me the paper. "What do you think?" she asked, unsure.

I read it over:

**A Part of Me**

A part of me is missing  
A part we both know well

I cannot live without it  
My heart begins to swell

It gives me all my spirit  
It's more than I should tell

And I begin to wonder  
Who came within to dwell …

Yet again she left me speechless. It just flowed together so nicely, like a song would. It just baffled me because I knew that I could never write something that flowed the same way.

I did try once. It ended up sort of like this:

**Sweet Canary**

"Tweet, tweet," she said.  
She was my sweet canary.  
Bella is what I named her.  
Then I changed it.  
Tink, tink, tink, she pecked at her food bowl.  
So now I named her Tinker Bell.

"Do you like it?" asked Wendy, biting her lip. Her eyes gave away her worryat my lack of speech.

"Like it? It's amazing! I'm speechless," I replied earnestly.

"Oh, it's just…" She hesitated. "Your face…"

At first I was confused, and then it clicked. "Oh! I was just thinking about how I could never write poems like you. It reminded me of the canary poem I wrote."

Wendy's expression eased. "That wasn't that bad," she said, laughing because we both knew it was a lie.

We were both silent for a moment.

"Um, Wendy?" I asked, unsure.

"Yeah?" she said.

"Do you want to go the Snow Ball with me?" I blurted out. Relief surged through me. I did it.

A joyful look of surprise spread across her face, "Yes, definitely."

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**Book Reverence: This chapter represents chapter 3 in the book, "Come away, come away." Wendy's poems in my story are her stories in the book. Also, when Peter asks her to go to the Snow Ball with him, that is much like when book peter asks wendy to go to neverland. As you may have noticed, Tinker Bell is peter's bird. Just like ch. 3, my story tells where her name comes from (although in the books it was because she mended the pots and pans, hence "tinker")**


	3. Both Kinds of Thimble

**Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been very busy. I have been thinking about the story though, and I think I know some more of the details now. Oddly enough, though I planned on writing something entirely different, this is what came out. I guess that's what authors mean when they say the character controlls the story, not the author. Well, I hope you like it. Please review. And special thanks to my friend who won't stop bugging me til I write more.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own all the names and phrases.**

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**Chapter Two**

I sat in Wendy's living room, watching her sew together the huge tear in my tuxedo. One lone tear mingled on her cheek. On my own face I could feel the stiffness of the salt. The red blotches were starting to fade

"I'm so sorry, Peter," Wendy sympathized, her voice cracking.

I hated it when she saw me like this. I felt so weak. But I couldn't help the fact that my father was a drug addict. I rubbed the maroon stain on my arm, remembering the latest fight.

"_Aren't you fancy?" he slurred. "All dressed up for your little party."_

_I continued combing my hair longer than necessary, stupidly wishing it would stop._

"_You know she really doesn't care about you," he ventured. _

_My smooth expression faltered before I could help it. Too late, he found a weak spot now. _

"_Wendy, that's her name." I winced silently. "Yes. You say it every day in your sleep; 'Wendy, Wendy.' Too bad she doesn't love you, too. No one would love you."_

_That hurt. She did love me. I knew I shouldn't do what I was about to do … but I had no choice. "She does," I whispered._

_"What?" Rage boiled in my father's eyes. "What did you just say?"_

"_She does." I said it a little louder, "She does love me."_

_My father shivered in anger. "What do you think gives you the right to talk to me like that? I am your father!"_

After that he lost control. I don't remember what happened after that. I try to block it out as much as possible. All I knew was that my father punched me and grabbed my shirt. I managed to get away, ripping my tuxedo and running halfway down the street before stopping to call Wendy asking her to pick me up.

I unconsciously squeezed my arm a bit too hard, and I grimaced at the physical and emotional pain. I looked up to see Wendy staring at me. She was finished.

"Here," she said, handing me the jacket. "You probably should wash your face." As I slipped into the sleeves and began buttoning, I listened as she turned on the kitchen sink to wet a paper towel.

Just as I finished the last button, I looked up and Wendy began wiping my face. I closed my eyes, letting the cool soak into my skin and numb all the pain. She paused on my cheek and I opened my eyes to see her trembling lips. Looking into my eyes, she leaned in. Closer, closer. My heart skipped a beat as her lips rested on mine…

And that was it. She collapsed into a hug on me. "I'm so sorry, Peter. I… I love you."

I let go of her and stared her in the eyes. On the surface, I knew I wanted this. If you skimmed my soul, my love for Wendy was never-ending. But deep down it was different.

Deep down, I was terribly, uncompromisingly afraid.

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**Book Reference: This scene doesn't exactly correlate with the book, but in case you haven't noticed, Peter's father is Hook. The end of it is kinda like the thimble/kiss scene, but I couldn't fit that in without ruining the moment.**


	4. Snow Ball

**Author's Note: I am so excited to have written this chapter. It is my longest yet and I am finally getting into the main plot. I also finally found the quote I based my title off of and realized it was wrong! It is will not would. So I will be changing my title.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own names and phrases.**

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**Chapter Three**

I stared out the window as we pulled up to the front of the school. The front entrance was illuminated brightly and decorated with sparkling snowflakes. Inhaling deeply, I opened the door and came around to the other side of the car where Wendy sat. She wore a simple white dress decorated with sequins in a faded pattern that was denser on the bottom and became more sporadic as it came higher up.

Tearing my eyes off Wendy, I smiled into the rearview mirror at Mrs. Darlings face. "Thank you for driving, Mrs. Darling." I paused. "I am sorry for my – problem – earlier."

"It's perfectly fine, dear. Whenever you need me, I will always be here," she comforted, a slight look of despair in her eyes.

While I walked Wendy to the door, we were both silent. I knew what she was thinking of. I tried to distract her.

"You look really pretty," I said dumbly. "That dress looks really good on you."

"Thanks." She smiled briefly, looking up at me, but then the grim expression returned to her face. She could hardly return the compliment.

I was grateful when we finally reached the front door and I didn't have the need to distract her anymore because the student council representative at the registration table could do that for me.

Wendy rummaged around in her purse until she found the tickets. "Here they are," she said, presenting them to the glum junior stationed at the table.

"Thanks," he grumbled.

As we walked around the corner to where the gym was, I whispered in Wendy's ear, "Well, someone is disappointed he didn't have a date."

Wendy gave me a joking frown and reprimanded me. "That's not nice, Peter." Then she gave up and broke out into a grin, finally getting her distraction.

As I turned to walk into the open doors of the gym, I heard Wendy catch her breath. I was speechless. There were sparkly silver-gold trees everywhere, giant snowflakes suspended from the ceiling by invisible aids, and a cottony, glittery concoction that looked like snow piled in heaps around everything else. If it weren't for the lined wooden floor, I would never have guessed it was a gym.

"C'mon, Peter, I see Anna," beckoned Wendy, nearly halfway through the crowded gym before I snapped back to reality.

I caught up to Wendy and we found our way to Anna, who was hop-skipping around her date. I had a double take when I saw her date. Opposites attract, I guess.

Anna did a little dance in a circle around Slightly, who wore an expression of patient adoration. For the occasion, he took a break from his usual Goth dress of complete black (with an occasional illegible white scrawl or metal accessory) to wear a Tuxedo. He still had the overdone eyeliner on, though.

Unsuccessfully trying to keep in my hysteria, I decided I should be paying more attention to the conversation.

"…How long have you two been going out?" I heard Wendy asked Anna, who had apparently paused her jig when she saw my date. I shuddered at the thought. My date.

"Slightly asked me a couple of weeks ago, during French. He actually said it in French first, trying to be all romantic-like – " she gave him a smirk and watched him blush " – but then he remembered how awful I am at French and asked again in English."

"How about you?" Slightly offered. "When did you ask Wendy?" He grinned and his piercing eyes seemed to look into my soul.

"Tuesday, study hall," I responded, acutely aware of how childlike it sounded.

"Cutting it a bit close, huh?" Slightly said, laughing. "I always leave plenty of time – "

Just then Principal Chief came on the announcement speaker, going into a long and boring speech about relationships, the New Year, drunk driving, and – God help me – sex.

Just about when I thought the heat in my face would kill me, he cued the DJ to start playing music for the traditional slow-dance kick off to the Ball.

Wendy linked her hands behind my neck and I, in the midst of fighting an internal battle with myself, put my hands on her waist. It baffled me, how I could want this so much, yet be so terribly afraid.

I looked into Wendy's eyes and saw her happiness shining through her eyes like sun through a stain-glass window. It was hard to believe only a few hours ago…

A fresh wave of horror surged through me as I suddenly remembered part of my blocked out fight with my father. He said it, that one hurtful statement, with barred teeth and a fistful of my Tuxedo, _"No one would care if you died."_

I had a question, but I didn't want to ruin the moment, Wendy looked so happy…

"Peter?" Wendy looked up at me with worry.

Oh, too late for that. Well, here goes nothing.

"Wendy," I ventured, unsure. We never talked about these things. The only way I had to gauge it was her reaction to my father. "Um…I was wondering…"

"Yes, Peter?" The suspense looked like it was killing her. I almost laughed at the pun. Almost.

"What's it like to die?"

"No! Peter!" The exasperated look on her face told me I should have kept my mouth shut. "You wouldn't. You couldn't. You won't. I won't let you!"

Oh, but I would. I could. She was the only thing that was stopping me.

To die will be an awfully big adventure.

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**Book Reference: This chapter isn't in the book either, but the end is kinda like the end of chapter 8 "The Mermaids Lagoon." Well, it ends in the same line, but it takes a different process to get there.**


	5. Help

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Author's Note: Yeah, so if you have read my story before, I am sorry, but I hadn't worked the entire plot out in my head as well as I thought I did and I need to redo it from this point on. I am sorry if this ruins the story for you. I am glad to say, however, that I have mapped out the rest of the plot, and with what I have written recently and tidbits I have written in the past, the next few chapters will be fast and easy to write, so they should be up soon. And to those of you who don't like short chappies, they are getting much, much longer. As I have said previously, I have mapped out the rest of the chapters (there will be 14 in all) and I hope to finish them by the end of March.

Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan characters or phrases. The real-world alterations to them, however, do belong to me.

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**Chapter 4: "Help" **

Slightly and Wendy walked with me to the guidance office. I had been very reluctant about the whole going-to-guidance thing, but Wendy was very persistent. She was determined to get me some "help." Eventually, Slightly (who we had been getting acquainted with, since, for obvious reasons, he now sits at our lunch table) stepped in on the argument and offered to come with me.

"Would you like to sign up for group session, it might – oh, hello," Ms. Lily interrupted herself, surprised. "Could you wait outside, please? I am speaking with another student right now."

I looked at the boy facing away from us, and recognized him as Matthew Tootley, but most people called him Tootles. I assume he is here because lots of people make fun of him because he is slightly rotund.

Minutes later, the door opened and Tootles came out, his round cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Hey, Matt," Slightly said, attempting some friendliness.

"You two may come in now," Ms. Lily called from somewhere in the room.

Ms. Lily pointed to the two empty chairs in front of her desk. Wendy sat down promptly and I looked at Slightly. He beckoned for me to sit.

"What are your names?" Ms. Lily said, taking out a clipboard with a long form on it.

"Peter Pan," I said, slouching in my seat. I _really_ did not want to be here.

Wendy scowled at me and turned to Ms. Lily. "I'm Wendy Darling, and this is Slightly Parker," she said, motioning to Slightly.

I rolled my eyes. Ms. Lily wrote something down on her paper.

"And why are you here today?" Her face seemed mildly interested, so it didn't give an acted appearance, and she was young, so she didn't have that I-care-about-you-because-I-am-an-old-lady-and-that-is-what-old-ladies-do look. Hmmm… maybe she was alright after all.

I snapped out of my daze to realize everyone was staring at me. I looked over to Wendy, putting my hand out in an "after you" gesture.

A hint of the expression that owned her face on the day of the Snow Ball returned as she began her story. "It was about three hours before the start of the Snow Ball, and I got a call from Peter asking me to pick him up. He was on the side of the road – " Wendy's voice cracked and tears glistened in her eyes.

"Keep going," Slightly said, reassuringly. Wendy swallowed, inhaled, and began again.

"He had run away from his house. All he told me was that he had a fight with his father. But… but his tuxedo jacket was ripped. I sewed it up for him, and we went to the Ball. But, during the slow dance, Peter – " A loud sob escaped her throat and the tears were coming steadily down her face now. I almost felt guilty for doing this to her when her arms began to shake. Ms. Lily looked extremely concerned.

Wendy took a deep breath and steadied herself. "He… he had this p-peculiar look on his f-f-face. I asked him w-what was w-wrong, and … and … he asked me what – " Her voice became quiet, nearly inaudible. " – what it is like to die."

Ms. Lily stared, shocked, at the paper she had been scribbling away on the whole time Wendy struggled telling the story. Suddenly she remembered our presence and looked up with and appropriately composed face.

"I can offer you each group sessions, I think that would be best for both of you," Ms. Lily said. Wendy gave her a confused look through her tear-streaked face. "I think it would be best for you, Wendy, judging by the way you reacted to the situation."

Wendy nodded thoughtfully as Slightly interjected. "Can I go with Peter? So he doesn't feel lonely?"

"Of course! That would be wonderful, and as for Wendy, the boys and girls groups are separate. I think that would be best, so you don't feel pressured by each other," Ms. Lily continued. For the next ten minutes, as Ms. Lily gave us papers and explained schedules and procedures, I couldn't help but notice something odd in the right hand corner of Wendy's mouth. Nothing had changed visibly, but I had a feeling something big had happened there.

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**I hope you liked it! The next one will be out shortly - it is almost done. It is really good and will have more links to the actual book in it! Please review! It is schooltime and I think that people are reviewing less, but it only takes like two seconds to review and it could mean all the difference to making my story better!**


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